Two more weeks to the show... And everyone is busy...Tomorrow one of my colleague and myself are going back to office to clear some stuff... This might be the last show for me and I really want to do some special stuff... special as in things tat people never tout it could be done... Of cos, I meant in a good way...
Met up with my ex colleague, soon to be ex colleague and colleague... I know its complicated... Many thoughts trigger my mind... Many thoughts run thru my mind everyday, but what I am facing lately are questions I haven't been answering or even felt that its not the time yet to think about... Many people told me things... Good and bad... I felt i became weaker thru the years... i remembered vivdly when I was younger, I was a very strong girl, not physically but in every area of my life... I was confident, enthu, keen to learn and mainly I never give up... In any circumstances, I never give up... Now you know why during my younger days my stamina was good... Because I was perserving...
As I look back, I felt I have change a lot... I felt weaker in mind and as a person... I do not know if I was ignorance when I was younger or I finally start to ponder on things beyond...
Many times you tried but you do not get the result you want and you were disappointed... I was disappointed... Sometimes I feel to live in a brand new place to build a brand new impression of people... People will not think that I am ....., ......, ........
Being someone who do not know how to play the game is also a sin... People look at you like you have sinned BIG time... when they do not know the full story... You tell urself its ok as long as God and yourself know what's going on... But how many times can human pass the test... You will be affected... To say that I do not bother how people look at me, its definitely a lie... Man looks at the appearance and God looks at the heart... Man run to God when they are in deep trouble... I do that too.. But why must i run to God only when I am in trouble or problems in the heart... Can't I share all good and bad times with Him.. I am trying to do that but i failed a couple of times...
People who play the game well tends to win in every game until when they fall once in a while... And I don't mind to win 9 times and fail once... Its better than you win 2 times and fail 8 times...If I can... the question is... IF i can...
Its a huge guts I could say to blog out all these things... But i really want to record down how am I feeling now and to witness myself the breakthru...
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