It's been a long time.

It's been a long timme since I have blogged. Even since my school started on the start of the year, I am so tied up. Taking a few mins break from my ER assignment, I decided to blog. I have so many things to update. I really wanted to update on my life so much so that when I look back in the future, I can remember these days and how I felt at this very moment while I am blogging. June 2013 has just past. June is a very tedious and difficult month for me. The prayer which I have made with God last year end, I gave a 6 months timeline to it. And June marks an end to the prayer. Recently, I have spoken to a couple of my close friends the existance of this prayer. However, only God knows the contents to this prayer. And July marks the start of my continual prayer after the first prayer, I am very anxious of about this prayer. In fact, I had sleepless night due to my first prayer and I am surprise how much this prayer affects me. God spoke to me that He will not short-change me and asked me to trust in Him. I really pray that His will to be done and not mine. Sometimes, you work things your way and hope that the outcome turn out to be the way you want it to be. I have tried many times in my entire walk with God. And well, God always has a better plan for you. I realise that each time I used my own way to manipulate the outcome turns out to be a failure and I becomes disappointed. I need to learn to be patience and wait upon God's calling and voice. That is the purpose of a prayer isn't it? To hear from God and not your own ways. June, is also a difficult time because I am having a dilemma about my career. I wanted so much to step out in faith to do what I and my colleague have planned. However, I really wanted God to intervene into every decision I make. I admitted that I got so excited over what we have planned for and I am no longer sure if it is my own desire/passion or God's calling to step out. Stepping out requires great faith because I have to give up my current job, my stable pay, my current flexi time to something unknown. I know myself too well, not a strong risk taker. I need stable finances for my studies and can I risk my savings to it? Just paid a good hard cash to school and I am almost broke. I needed peace from a decision and know that it's mine. June, is tedious because I am having my toughest module taught by the strictest lecturer. But I am glad she taught us well. I love the module but she is superbly strict and all of us slept for only 3 hours rushing for each assignemnt 1-3 weeks before assignment's deadline is up. Other than such a stressful post I am posting tonight, I hope that I have more time to update my blog regularly. I wanted to record down every feelings I've been through, every snippets of my life. Good night everyone, I am probably gotta stay on a little while to do up partial of my assignment. Love, Fairy