2014 A New Year..

This blog seem like its almost dead.. Haha.. Ever since my school starts, it is always busy for me. Now its a new year 2014, Chu San. Crossing over to the New Year with a heavy heart. I know why but I have no explanation for it.. 2013 is one of the very adventurous years, picking up a new course, back in church, quitting my job, became a distributor. 2014, I ended my contract and is starting something new. Of course, this is not my first intention, unforeseen circumstances brings me to this decision. I wonder if I have made the right decision to step in at first. Making my current decision breaks me down. In fact, non of my ex colleagues or partner knows about it. I told God I have to take it easy since this is the way how it happens. In fact, much help has be rendered to me. Though I told God I will take it well but my heart is heavy. Both presurrise by my never ending assignments and my career. I really pray that God will comfort my heart and make me see in His eyes and not mine. I pray for wisdom when dealing with people. I have never stop praying about it but sometimes I wonder if it is based on my own intuition or the Holy Spirit. Sometimes, I felt very disappointed because I can't see God making things right in my life. Or is the things that happen in my life is all God's plan, if so, why can't I enjoy the process. I am confused and in dilemma, contradictory thoughts. Back and forth... Unsure and unsettled.. In this new year, I pray things will be settled, my heart, my thoughts, my mind and my spirit. ============================================= I came back to this post again because I read up on my last post. Yes, I was talking about a 6 months prayer that I have made and God shown.. I am sad with the outcome. Nevertheless, this is what has happened and God has answered in certain way. I can only go along with it. The outcome is never what I have expected. I expected it differently, of course in my perspective. What I have learnt? God has His plans and you must accept it. I know I sounded so negative and as if I had no choice. But sometimes, as humans, we can only do our best. There are certain things we cannot control. I look forward to my next post where I can talk about happy stuff and back to the positive Fairy.. Just needed some time to straighten out my thoughts... ============================================