Relieved...

Finally the fair that we all worked so hard was over! I am so happy and relieve. I have made further plans for my carrer path. I love my job as a sales person here but things has changed since the "big" company took over...

People changes, things changes, matters changes and priority changes... It changes so much that I cannot take it any more... Dissapointment kills motivation...

I hope all the best to the company...

Is this life?

I just bath and settle nicely in bed.. I came home not long ago from office.. This is the last lap and its the most tedious period of all.. My voices and complaints do not come from all these late nites stays in office but the appreciation a coy can give.. I do not need praises and i do not need sarcams as well. When u keep ur mouth shut its better than a word of praise from mouth. At least, now i've learnt.. Once a person got an impression of u of a certain way, the impression stays clear thru out. Now give me 3 reason why should i work in a company who brings you down everyday?

Perhaps its "xxx" strategy.. Who knows...

Don't try to please everyone.. U can fool others but u can't fool me..

But i will not tell u that... I will see what is up on ur sleeves..

The light will reign so don try too hard...

When people known u for too long, they take u for granted.

To accept and change for the better...

I wanted to have a good sleep today and start afresh tomorrow. This weekend is a refreshing one.. though I went back to office on Saturday and help my dad for both days at the stall but that doesn't spoil my weekend... I still went out after that to spend time with my friends which I believe friends are very important people in one's life...

We eat, we talk, we play and we forget all the troubles we have when we were together because you know they accept you of who you are... Life is short, I want to have my life as fulfilled as possible..

I did lots of thinking this weekend and decided to give myself one more chance to try out at work... I hope a new mind-set and a refresh heart helps me to pick up this challenage...

No one has the rights to kill your confident, no one has the rights to kill your heart, no one has the rights to kill your dreams but yourself...

心结

Surprise surprise... I tried logging in to blog and I was linked back to my old blog...That was like when I was still doing my attachment in my Poly days!!!

I read a little and I realised 2 things. One: I was so HOLY. TWO: My english seems better in the past!!!

What happen!!! I degraded myself? I cannot believe it... After reading my thoughts from the past, I was encourage by myself... How strong a believer and firm I was. I wrote that my dream was to be an engineer which is the total opposite from now!!! And I was even shouting in my blog that how fire up I was to be a dream releaser... LOL.. I was so surprise..

Was it something God wants to direct me to? I was thinking of my carrer path and was browsing at some job seeking website. I wasn't frantically seeking for a job but to say that I have not thought of a change of job, I was lying... Folks who read my blog knows how stress I was for these period of time and I prayed for a sign for God to show me if I should stay on or move on...

Someone said she hates herself for being like this and like that.. Which i strongly can indentify and understand her.. Sometimes in hard time, and all bad stuff comes whacking into ur face one after another, u would either react ur best or ur worst.. Which in most cases, the latter.. And thru it, we understand ourself better..

And i read a verse in the bible which says," the world is not a stage".

We are not performing for anyone but ourself.. I guess god allow things to happen for a reason. And to teach us and reveal who we really are.

I hope this testing will not break us but makes us stronger. No matter whether we survive "there" or not. Probably its a beginning for all of us.. A new story to write & tell.

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will...

sometimes, when I looked at how ineffecient and unproductive people were... which causes me lots of sleepless nights, stress-filled days... I wonder... Am I like that too when I just came in... after all these years, I know my weaknesses very well... Or perhaps still discovering more on the way...

I am so tired that I felt like crying... I am not self-pitying.. I just felt helpless and I cannot express myself... when I express myself, I seem to make things go worst... When I do not, I felt surpress... I had thoughts about typing my resignation letter though I am too tired to do so... Then I chance upon this poem on the net...

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit-
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a fellow turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow -
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man;
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor's cup;
And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out -
The silver tint in the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It might be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

I know I should not quit... But this is not the balance lifestyle I want... I would rather earn less and have my own time than to earn more but no time to spend the money... But currently, I am earning not alot but working on the double... I hope its the transition that things are like that...

When promises are not fulfilled for more than a few times... You know this path is not as promising as it may be...

One lifetime and I am not going to slog so hard for money... I have thoughts of forming a union for Bangladesh/foreign working overseas.. to help them fight for their human rights... I think there is something like that going on now but I thought more should be done for them...

Anyway, let's see how God will tie up my current situation for me... Cos I need some revival here...

Half dead...

I hope to have some time for myself... Lately, I am so packed... Sometimes, when things dun go well... I will start blaming on the starter of these problems.. Maybe its just me who couldn't handle stress and human relations.. I sometimes wonder is this job really not suitable for me? Or is it that I should really leave when my boss asked me to back then...

I started to doubt my ability in managing people.. Am i too soft or just that I can't make myself to say certain things to people.. And as people know me better, they will climb onto my head... "Do not unto things you do not want others to do to you" Things proved that it doesn't pay to be good.. In the end the good suffer in the corner and the bad claim all the credits...

I hope i have faith to move mountains.. Then I can move the situation... LOL...

What to do? I am so confused now... this word, "stand still" comes into my mind.. I guess God wants me to stand still?

Is that a 5 star hotel or a 6 star hotel? I have doubts in it...

Mandarin Orchard service is bad!

I was invited by one of this friend from Indo to see his education method at his school which is establish in Indo and now its coming to Singapore. With the 2nd workshop held at Mandarin Orchard and no staff at Mandarin Orchard knows about this event except the cleaner...

Can you believe this? I asked for information at the conceign at the lobby and was told to look at the TV for the events of the day?!!! And he asked me to check it out myself which I told him I already had and said that it was not written there...

He then went to check it out ( not really friendly, like I was taking up too much of his time) and told me that there was no such event.. I went to level 5 lobby and was told the same... So i had no choice and went to Level 6 meeting rooms to check out myself and found out that the rooms were vacant with only a cleaner... I asked the cleaner and was directed to the location... A cleaner can tell me the location but not the conceign and counter staff!!! Can Mandarin Orchard staff take more initiative and well- informed?

Break Away...

I felt like breaking already... There are so many things to do and the show is like 1 month away.. The gal from the "big" company came on Monday evening for the briefing and start work on Tues... I felt that help came a little too late... She still need time to get used to the system, forms and enviroment... My company really dun seem to appreciate me... I think I have been saying this many times... I am trying to be positive too.. I am still feeling happy when I close a booth and I hope this sense of achivement remains before I find myself in a still mode... When you close 1, others sees that , " why 1, you should have closed 2"... "No sales? Becos you didn't follow up"

Hello... Fairy also got 2 hands only lor... And by helping me is to send help to me only 1 month before the fair? You are killing me...

Anyway, I made up my mind... If this door shuts on me, another door will open for me... I won die without this job...

At the airport now.. Probably be at jakata in a few hours time.. I'm be gg to the franchise fair in indonesia. My first time to indonesia.. I hope i will like the place.. I be back shortly even before u knew it!

As of yesterday, my company has officialy be acquisted by another company which is a wholly own subsidy of a very big holdings in SG.

So we are now staff of this company... My colleague said that I am able to take whatever it comes... That is not entirely true... Of cos, i am as anxious as them.. I asked questions too.. But answers were always vague... and I got tired... Since everyone is just as uncertain, I shall not asked too much then...

Actually the truth is, I am quite fearful to lose my job.. As now, anyone can do wat i do... It just take some time to build the experience and it can be done...

I know fear is not from God but uncertainties is wat we are facing and I am fearful.. I am not talented like abc that have their own skills. I am not as people person as xyz.. I am not as capable as efg... It's not that I am comparing myself to anyone... That's the fact of the world now... If you can't do it then out you go... Like I once had that bloody experience which I do not want history to play back again... Once bitten twice shy... I am very frighten already...

The fear of lost is very scary...

My uncle told me that stress are cause by pressure that you give to yourself... Yes, it's true... I really pray that things will go well for me in my life.. Each test comes harder to handle than the previous... Let faith cast out the fear i have... In Jesus name I pray.. Amen...

I need a hunch...

Remember I buy the book from popular in Malaysia? It is really a very useful book. I have learnt so much from it..

Many things can be read and understood theortically however technically it is not so easily done... as you know, I have been very into numerlogy and horoscope thingy recently... I regretted so much to see fortune tellers... It some how affect my thoughts about my life and so on...

The book I bought talked abt it.. "It takes a very strong mind to neutralize a prophecy of evil" Yes, and upon having the thought cast upon your sub-conscious mind, you will really believe in it and thru the faith you have in the false prochecy, it will some how be done...

Now, I am facing a carrer path crisis... and I have to make a crtical decision for myself... So I need a hunch.. I need to wake up in the morning or even doing something random and a hunch will come and tell me , ""... And I will follow...

Many times, a hunch came and my resisting and reasoning mind will ask... Why do that so I give it a miss... Proabably I missed out something that has been planned for me...

This time I will go for the hunch without reasoning.. i hope I can.. Lol.. I need very logical reason to move me to do something... It's a good thing a not... I am not sure.. But I knew God is going to change me for good... And I hope the change will be imprint in my heart...

A break for a ultimate breakthru...

I'm just back from Malaysia an hour ago... Bathed and nicely sitted in front of my laptop... I felt so happy.. I finally had a break, real break and I can see a breakthru ahead...

I read a book in Popular just now and it was amazing.. I picked up the book and bought it!!! It's a pretty thick book... If you folks know me, I do not like to read... My first and last accomplish book(till date) I think its a goosebumps book at the age of 14! can you believe it? All my friends were reading Danielle Steel books then and I had only just completed a goosebumps story book meant for primary school student...

So you can imagine how this thick book can attract me to buy it... Btw, it's not a magazine or comic... It's kind of a self improvement book which actually implements the WOG into the thoughts of the writer...

I am so eager to read this book lor... That I kept peeking into the book during dinner... Had a meal,ice blended drink and a cake in Secret recipe at only S$11.90 per pax! That's so cheap... I cannot even get such splendid food in my market with such valuabe price... Not to say in a shopping centre...

I got a new brown spec there as well.. Alright, its not done yet... will show you folks once I go for collection..

Probably its school holidays so we took some time to reach Malaysia custom in themorning even though we left SG at 9 plus in the morning... It's Brunch time when we reach there...

After this break, I felt refresh... Both physically as well as mentally... And I am ready to see a breakthru very soon..

Gambatte, Fairy...

Haven been blogging some constructive post lately.. I just heard that i be going to Indonesia for a franchise show 2 weeks later.. Actually i dun mind but i worry abt my pocket.. Lol.. The claiming part is a big issue lah.. But after the hk fair, i've learnt to record all my meals down so tat at least it brings justice to my pocket.. My cc bills is like 1000 over after i've paid half of it le! Yea lor i just do my claims and haven got the money back...

Ahhh... 钱不是万能的，没钱就真的万万不能。

anyway shall see if boss really decide to post me there for the fair..

If the situation won't change for you, then change yourself... That's always the case...

If you try too hard to make things happen, it wouldn't happen and ultimately, it may even cause problems to people around you... Because you are too into making the situation to turn into the way you want... Then you will take people for granted... And expect people to understand what the hell you are doing and in the end everyone around have to change themselves for you.. And everyone begins to change (better for some, worst for some) and you wonder why... by then it will be too late... But hack you care... Becos you don't care...

Happy movies

I am loading Shrek 3 now.. watching it in a while time.. So excited...

With hope...

I really am very sick and tired and really wanted to quit my job... I needed a break... A break from everything... I just felt like leaving everything and staying home which I think it will help... But is that a mean of avoiding, running away... In hard times, God showed me that I am not that tough after all... even in my worst days in WT, I withstand all criticism, all slanter, all back stabbing moments... I didn't cry at all.. Until my supervisor left.. Okay, I have no idea why I cried... She back stabbed me too...she didn't believe I can do it... Back then, no one trusted me... And I felt lousy... But I am so strong to go on then... I always believe that I can do it...

But now, It seems like it's harder to get thru... where have the fairy gone to? I dun know.. But I think I will still try and wait for my rainbow to come...

All the characters in dramas and movies have their troubles and problems but after the trials, they see rainbow... Things turn out well after all... I hope to enjoy that moment of joy... But without trails, how would I know that there's a rainbow... LOL.. I guess I have to wait and enjoy the process... The moulding is not easy but yet I think God will not give me things I cannot handle...

And after this, I can shout to you that... I have pass the test...

Dad bought the new Magnum Gold... It taste really really good... But its super ex lor..

Celebrated Mother's day and dad's birthday on friday.. Yes, we were like 1 week late but at least no crowd... Better quality of food too I supposed... we went dian xiao er at Lot 1 and had Ice cream at MOF after that... Mom say that MOF is Ministry of Offence... LOL.. Super funny... Then will be MOO liao... MOO....

Pictures should be up soon.. :) I hope I can give you wat I promise.. I realise I have posted any pics of my short hair yet...

I watch the 3 Spiderman episode... And I learn some moral from the movie... Man.. I love shows like that...